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man, you won't believe what a good time waster i am. i just started my studying today!!! my gawd!!and i have to sit for my exam on monday!!! really..all those unproductive activites simply must stop!! but it's darn hard to stop them cos i'm addicted to it!!! and today was just a warm-up!!! man!!!

anyway that aside, hm.. i was reflecting a lot today..about myself and stuff around me..about how things in the past few years or months or weeks or days (or even hours)..thinking maybe i should have done that or shouldn't have done this and stuff. no use brooding over them yeah for it's already done, but one should look into history some time to learn what and how one did wrong to prevent them from happening again, no?

then as i was flipping through my old letters, a realisation suddenly hit me..not that it was in any way connected to my thoughts at that time..hm..i hate to admit this, but i think nic was right. i am a "stalker." i mean which person in right mind would urrgh well sort of find out about her long lost ex (where is he currently staying, what is he doing, his home and office address ehem both complete address!!). i don't know why i did it. hm..or maybe...this is what one can call a talent, no? maybe i could make a good PI, private investigator! lol. who knows eh? but i kinda stop for months now, since last april and yes, i was so darn tempted to do it again so i shall make a vow here and now to:
- STOP digging info about him from any resources, both human and internet
- STOP making "prank calls"
- STOP compiling those pieces of info

to simply put it, i am STOPPING all these nonsense now.

but well you know maybe i can become a journalist or reporter after all, no? i have this cat's curiosity.